To My Future Kids

When my daughter comes to me, asking what kind of man I would like for her to marry I will tell her not just one thing-but I will give her multiple examples of the kind of character he should have by pointing to her father. That being my first answer, marry a man who when your daughter asks you the same question you can point to your husband as the example (the proto type) someone you are privileged to honor and respect. In my life, I have asked that same question so many times to my grandparents and parents seeking wisdom that they have gathered in their years. Almost every time I have asked, I always get a pretty generic response “a Christian man”. However, in my experience that is not enough (you would think it would be) but sadly that needs further clarification. Sadly some of us wonder what “a Christian man” looks like.

Before my son starts dating, I will make sure he is aware of the mantle he carries. He is not meant to be like every other man but he is meant to live a life worthy of the calling he has received. I will also remind him of all the times in the bible where women led to the fall of men. Be extremely careful with the women you involve yourself with. She can either make you or break you. You will be desired by many googly eyed girls (that desire doesn’t require mutuality but resistance and self-mastery) you only get to choose 1; it ain’t a buffet. When you find her, pursue her until she chooses you back, and after you marry, keep that same energy. As a man, you are different from women but even amongst other men you are set apart for the glory of God. As a man, you are born to cultivate and to shape cultures. This first starts with your household.

To all the children I will bare, I have dedicated you to God before you were even conceived. You have helped me make hard choices and gave me the courage to walk away from people and things I had grown fond of. I have studied the word of God so that you can have it spoken over you and taught to you. I have broken curses and fought fights so that you won’t have to concern yourself with them. It is my greatest privilege knowing that you will be greater than me. I will do everything I can to make sure that means something in the Kingdom of God by following God closely and living up to a higher standard than those who came before me. 

Be prepared for these are the questions I’ll be asking when you’ll bring a girlfriend or boyfriend home to meet the family. Where I lacked guidance and understanding on this topic (learning the hard way), you will lavish in abundance of it.

• Are they a believer of Christ Jesus?
• Are they born again?
• Do they respect your boundaries in preserving your purity?
• Do they go to church?
• Do they tithe?
• Do they read the Bible actively?
• Do they bare the fruit of the Holy Spirit?
• Do they recognize your calling and their own? Do your callings compliment?
• To my daughter, can he provide for you? To my son, is she nurturing and helpful to you?
• Does their friend group reflect who they say they are/who they want to be?
• Are they the example you want for your children?
• Do they honor their parents, grandparents?
• To my daughter, can you submit to him? To my son, will she let you lead?
• Are you both mature enough to handle conflict well?
• Do they inspire you to be better?
• And lastly, are you attracted to them?

Notice how attraction is the last on the list and believing in Jesus the first. You’re not called to date like the world does. Now, in all zero years of my professional counseling experience I’d like to challenge you, to think about the kind of spouse you would want for your children….

Now, go and live up to it in your own life. Be the kind of lady you’d want your son to marry and the example you’d want your daughter to follow and vice versa for the gentlemen.

I have learned a lot, made a lot of miserable mistakes, went through a lot of unnecessary pain, and avoidable trauma in my walk with God, all of which I would like to spare you from if you’d listen. God has now empowered and compelled me to speak, there will be more stuff like this and whatever else God leads me to share to be found here on www.preachitpritchett.com

Come and see what The Lord has done.